


Natsuki's Biggest Secret

by Awseomness



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Diapers, Everybody already knows and accepts that Natsuki is trans, F/F, I Cannot Stress that Enough, Implied Parental Abuse, Just implied smut, Kinks, Not a story where someone is outed as trans against their will, Sayori ships her friends very much, She came out of her own accord well before the events of this story, Trans Girl!Natsuki, no actual smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 13:25:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13741851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awseomness/pseuds/Awseomness
Summary: Yuri accidentally discovers Natsuki's deepest darkest secret, and then discovers something about herself.





	Natsuki's Biggest Secret

"Ah, there you are." Yuri took her book from the desk. The clubroom was dark, she hadn't bothered to turn on the lights when she'd returned for her misplaced book.

Sayori, Natsuki, and Monika has already gone home as, she assumed, had everyone else in the school. Anyone left was certainly running late. Unless, she supposed, they were specifically waiting until everyone else was gone.

She shivered slightly. The school was spooky when it was dark and empty. She could imagine staying, just for the experience, though she doubted any of her classmates would feel the same.

Forgotten tome in hand, she was about to go home when nature came calling and she took a detour to the ladies' room. As she stepped inside, she heard sounds of struggling and someone grunting and cursing quietly from one of the stalls.

Odd.

Not as alone as she'd thought, apparently. The voice was quiet, but she thought perhaps she recognized it. Still, a girl struggling in the bathroom isn't something she wanted to interfere with. She fretted momentarily with perhaps finding a different bathroom; she didn't want to startle the other girl.

Before she moved, the other girl kicked her stall door in her struggles. It swung open with a loud clatter and Yuri's eyes widened.

There, in the stall, was Natsuki, sitting on the closed toilet, her skirt bunched up around her waist, and struggling with the straps of what could not possibly be (but indeed could not be otherwise from) a diaper around her waist.

Natsuki glanced up and caught Yuri's eyes. Her face turned bright red immediately and her hackles raised. Yuri was frozen in place, afraid to move, afraid to do anything.

Natsuki found her voice, just barely. "G-get out."

Yuri didn't move.

Natsuki's bookbag was open next to her and she grabbed a pencil case from it. "GET OUT!" The case collided with the wall next to Yuri's face, spilling open, its contents clattering to the floor.

That snapped Yuri back to reality and she bolted. She ran out of the bathroom, out of the hallway, and out of the school.

***

Yuri had half-expected Natsuki not to show up to the literature club today, but there she was, sitting at her desk and reading her manga. Perhaps she should say something to her? But what would she even say? No. Better to leave it for now. Still, she couldn't help glancing in Natsuki's direction every few seconds.

"Girls, come on!" Sayori called from the front of the room. "It's time to share our poems!"

Natsuki stood. "Yuri and I'll partner up first."

"Oh!" Sayori looked surprised, then confused, then she put her smile back on. "I guess that works. Have fun!" She turned back over to MC and Monika at the front.

Yuri felt her palms begin to sweat as Natsuki walked over to her. Would Natsuki threaten her? Was Natsuki capable of threatening her? Would she die here?

Natsuki stopped, a foot away, and didn't make eye contact. "You have questions." She whispered.

Yuri swallowed. "I-it doesn't matter. You don't have to tell me anything."

"Except that if I don't, you're gonna keep thinking about it." Natsuki still didn't look at her, and her cheeks were red. "But if I explain it to you, it'll be no big deal and you can forget about it."

That was... remarkably well-reasoned for Natsuki. Yuri hadn't expected that. "I suppose."

"So here's what we're gonna do: after the club, you're gonna buy me supper. It can be McDonalds, whatever, it doesn't matter. Then, we're gonna go to the park, find a place where no one can hear us, and I'll explain everything. After that, you'll never talk about this to me or anyone. Got it?"

Yuri could see Natuski's hands balled into fists. This was hard for her. "Y-yeah, sure."

"Good." Natsuki whipped out a piece of paper. "This is my poem. It's about a cute dog I saw a couple of days ago."

Yuri nodded, took Natsuki's poem, and handed her own over. Natsuki didn't get past the title, "Little Accidents", before her whole body turned bright red and she finally made eye contact, a furious glare penetrating Yuri's soul.

"What the FUCK is this?" She mouthed, apparently still possessing the presence of mind not to shout.

"It's an apology!" Yuri whispered quickly. "Please read it."

Natsuki scowled. "If it wouldn't disappoint Sayori, I would storm out of here right now."

"I'm actually really sorry."

"Shut up. Read about the dog."

Unbeknownst to either of them, three pairs of eyes watched from afar with thinly-veiled interest.

"They sure are taking awhile." MC said, peering over the top of Sayori's poem. "I wonder what they're talking about."

"Should we," Monika hesitated, "I dunno, should we interrupt them?"

"Don't you dare." Sayori made no effort to hide her delight. "I've been waiting for this for months!"

***

Natsuki tore voraciously into her cheeseburger, unconcerned with getting condiments on her face. They'd found a bench at the edge of the park where they wouldn't be overheard, and the park itself was sparsely populated in the twilight hour.

She took a long swig from her soda before speaking. "So, let's start with what you saw."

Yuri nodded.

"You saw me. In the bathroom. Putting on a diaper."

Yuri nodded again.

"And you're wondering why I was doing that."

A third nod.

Natsuki took a moment to collect her thoughts. "You know how I'm trans?"

Yuri hadn't the slightest idea where this was going. "Yes?" It wasn't a secret, at least not among the literature club. Natsuki had even written a poem about it, one of her better ones.

"I've been on puberty blockers for half of my life, but about a year ago I was able to start on actual hormones." Natsuki took another bite of her burger. She used the time chewing to further gather her thoughts. Clever. "It took a lot of doing, and I had to do most of that doing on my own, but it's been a really good thing for me."

Yuri didn't say anything. Didn't want to interrupt.

"One of the medications I take is mainly used as a diuretic outside of HRT." Natsuki took a napkin and wiped her face. "And ever since I started taking it, I would have... accidents. They're a pain in the ass, so... I started wearing adult diapers sometimes.

"I don't want people to know about it, so I don't wear them at school or when I'm out in public or anything. Just when I'm alone, or at home, or when I sleep."

Yuri spoke up then, "But you were at the school."

Natsuki withdrew into herself slightly. "It's easier to wait until everyone's gone and do it at the school than to do it when I get home. If Dad comes home early, I don't want to give him another reason to be angry."

Yuri's blood chilled. She nodded and looked away.

Natsuki wadded up her burger wrapper and tossed it at a nearby trash can. It missed and landed next to it, so she grimaced, stood, walked over, and placed the wrapper properly in the can. She walked back and sat down again.

"So," she said, "do you have any more questions that would just fester in your mind until they erupt, or are we done here?"

"Do you like wearing them?" Yuri blushed. She hadn't meant to ask that, it just slipped out.

Natsuki stiffened. "No! I mean, I guess I'm used to them, but I don't- Why would you even think that?"

"I'm sorry!" Yuri continued slowly, "It's just... I may have googled it last night, and... well... there are people who..." It had been her first assumption that Natsuki was one of those people.

Natsuki growled and hid her face in her hands. "It's not like that! I told you, it's just because I have bladder problems because of my medicine. It is one hundred percent a medical thing!"

Yuri threw her hands up defensively. "I'm sorry! I completely believe you!"

Natsuki tossed her empty cup at the trash can, missed again, and went through the entire process a second time before angrily sitting back down.

"Is there anything else?" The way she said it made it clear she wanted the answer to be "no."

Yuri hesitated to ask, but pushed ahead anyway. "A-are you wearing one now?"

"Of course not." Natsuki crossed her arms. "I told you, I don't wear them at school or in public."

"But you're going straight home after this." Yuri reminded her. As late as it was, her father was probably already home too.

Natsuki's expression went from defiant to fretful, then to actually worried. Yuri placed a genlt hand on Natsuki's shoulder, she flinched and Yuri removed it, but she still tried to reassure her.

"There's a restroom just over there. You can change before we go." She smiled slightly, "I'll make sure no one sees you."

Natsuki took a deep breath and gave a small nod. As they walked together to the bathroom, she kept her arms close to her body, like she wanted to make herself smaller or disappear entirely. It was, honestly, kind of cute.

Of course, Natsuki was always cute, but she was alway _trying_ to be cute. Yuri didn't care much for that. But seeing her genuinely vulnerable, and especially seeing her blushing, was endearing in a way that felt natural, and Yuri liked that very much.

The restroom was empty and Natsuki ducked into one of the stalls. Yuri stayed at the doorway, looking out. Still, as she heard the sound of cotton on skin, and then the sound of a diaper crinkling as it's unfolded, she couldn't put the image out of her mind.

Her head was light, and she felt her heart thump hard in her chest. She trembled. This was a turn on. _Oh god,_ she thought, _maybe_ I'm _one of those people._

Natsuki exited the stall, smoothing out her skirt. By all appearances, nothing had changed. If she didn't already know, Yuri would never guess she was hiding a diaper under there.

"We're good now, right?" Natsuki asked, "You understand and can forget about it?"

"Yes." Yuri lied. "I can totally forget about it now."

***

Monika and MC protested as Sayori pushed them bodily out of the classroom. "Come on, you guys!" She said, "You promised to help me study, and we're losing daylight!"

This was a lie, neither of them had promised anything like that. MC was about to point that out when Sayori finally got them both through the door and slid it shut behind them.

"Sayori, what are you doing?" Monika asked, adjusting herself.

"Yeah, Sayori, what gives?" MC crossed his arms. "I mean, I'm willing to help you study, but you need to actually ask first."

Monika rolled her eyes.

Sayori put a finger to her lips to shush them, then motioned for them to get closer. "Yuri and Natsuki have had a lot of tension between them these last couple of weeks." She whispered. "I think something happened on their date, and it's all coming to a head today."

Monika raised an eyebrow, "Is _that_ what this is about?"

MC looked shocked. "They went on a date?"

Sayori shushed him again. "I really want things to work out between them, and I think what they need right now is some space where they can work through this together. So, the three of us are leaving early and giving them that space."

"Well, if you're that invested in their relationship," With a wry smile, Monika whipped a plastic cup from her bookbag.

Sayori brightened.

"Woah, wait a minute." MC interjected. "Isn't that a violation of privacy? Maybe we should just go."

"Don't think of it that way." Monika chided him, "The way I see it, Sayori and I are monitoring the atmosphere of our club and making sure it's comfortable for everyone. That requires taking a vested interest in how all our members are getting along with each other."

"I dunno..."

"Monika's Writing Tip of the Day: People do their best writing free of distraction. Don't leave things half-finished before picking up your pen."

MC still looked skeptical, but as Monika touched the cup to the door he leaned in as well.

***

"You need to cut it out!" Natsuki advanced and Yuri backed against the wall.

"I don't know what-"

"Yes you do!" Natsuki flared through clenched teeth.

Yuri felt her heart in her throat. She swallowed.

"Everyday you've been complimenting my hair, or offering to buy me dinner, or disengaging whenever we start getting agressive! You don't even critique my poems anymore, it's just 'Oh I like _this_ part. This is _great imagery, Natsuki!_ ' I'm sick of it! This is exactly what I didn't want! You need to stop treating me like A CHILD!"

"Natsuki, I didn't mean to-"

Natsuki advanced closer. "How old am I?"

"Y-you're eighteen."

"Say it AGAIN!"

"YOU'RE EIGHTEEN!"

"And what does that make me?"

"You're an adult, the same as me!"

"That's right!" Tears were welling up in Natsuki's eyes. She tried to stay angry, but as the tears rolled down her cheeks she lost control of her breathing and started to cry. "I'm not a child."

"I don't think you're a child." Yuri stepped toward her. "I was trying to be nicer because... because I like you."

Natsuki's face screwed up more. She sniffed. "This is a cruel trick, Yuri."

"It's not a trick!" Yuri shook her head, "I don't think you're a child, and I really like you!"

Natsuki angrily scrubbed the tears from her eyes and looked away. She didn't believe it.

"I'll prove it to you!"

Before Natsuki could react, Yuri had one hand on her shoulder and another on her face, and then Yuri's lips were on hers. She was kissing her. They were kissing.

Yuri pulled her lips away and Natuki's eyes were wide.

"You really..."

Yuri nodded.

"And you don't think of me as a child?"

"I wouldn't be into it if I thought you were a child."

"What?"

Yuri kissed her again, and Natsuki kissed back. She'd wanted this for a long time, part of the reason she joined the club was to be closer to Yuri, but she never thought it was possible. Yuri slipped her tongue past Natsuki's lips, and let her hand slip down to Natsuki's thigh.

"Wait." Natsuki broke the kiss and Yuri whined. She grabbed Yuri by the waist and maneuvered her into a chair. "Are we... are we really going to do this?"

"I want to." Yuri said. "I want _you._ "

Natsuki smiled. Then, she pushed herself between Yuri's legs. "If we're gonna do this, I'm on top."

Yuri was completely okay with that. Natsuki bent down to kiss her neck while she unbuttoned Yuri's jacket and slipped it off of her. Her hand lingered at Yuri's breast before moving to lift her vest.

"Natsuki," Yuri lifted her arms and let Natsuki remove her vest. She shivered as Natsuki's hands lingered at her breasts. Dare she push her luck? "Would you... would..."

Natsuki placed another kiss where Yuri's jaw met her neck. "What is it?"

"I'm embarassed to ask."

"Don't be embarassed." Natsuki kissed her again. "Just say what's on your mind."

"Would you be willing to wear your diaper for me?"

Natsuki stopped. She took a step back.

"N-not now." Yuri clarified. "Not ever if you don't want to."

"You want me to wear a diaper?" Natsuki blushed brighter. "While we do it?"

Yuri nodded slowly. "It really turns me on. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I touched myself thinking about it."

Natsuki took a second to process that. "...Would I still get to top?"

Yuri "Mm-hmmed" vigorously.

"I guess it's not a dealbreaker." Natsuki said, with a reluctant shrug. "We can try it."

Yuri squeeled with delight and pulled Natsuki back in to kiss her again.

***

MC, Sayori, and Monika each stared at each other in horror.

"Did Natsuki say she wears a diaper?" MC asked.

"We fucked up."

"We fucked up?" Sayori tried hard to keep from yelling. "This was your idea, Monika!"

"Fine, _I_ fucked up, are you happy?"

"Sayori, Monika, I love you both." MC said. "Everyday I look forward to seeing you and you brighten up my life. Having said that, if either of them ask about this I am going to throw you both under the bus _so fast!_ "

"We need to go." Monika said. "We need to go now. President's orders."

"Seconded." Sayori nodded.

"Motion passes." MC helped them both to their feet and the three of them bolted.

***

"Everyone, Natsuki and I have an announcement to make." For some reason, when Yuri said that the atmosphere of the club changed. Everyone seemed... anxious.

Natsuki, apparently, didn't notice. "Yuri and I..." she paused for effect, "are dating! We're a couple now!"

"Oh, girls! That's so great!" Sayori tried to look them in the eyes, the effort evident on her face.

"You mean you weren't dating before?" MC was sweating. "I could've sworn, what with all the great chemistry you have."

A creeping dread made its way up Yuri's spine. Why were they acting like that? Almost like... they already knew.

She tensed up. Had they overheard? Or worse, had they been listening in? But that would mean-

"We couldn't be happier for you girls." Monika had the best composure of the three. "I'm glad last night went so well for you."

"What'd'you mean 'last night'?" Natsuki raised an eyebrow.

Everyone tensed. Monika'd fucked up again.

Understanding dawned on Natsuki's face and Yuri braced herself.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"


End file.
